Well, the years have moved along slowly for Alicia and have been quite frustrating at times, I might add. You can’t help but feel for the girl at times, as she can only imagine where she might be or what she might be doing at this point in her life had she not had a brain injury at the age of sixteen.
To be honest with you, I at times try to put thoughts of the past including all the sadness out of my mind; they are still quite painful. I can not even imagine how discouraged and tortured Alicia has been by these thoughts.
Many of those close to her are called to carry out their lives; daily concerns and ideas fill our minds. Alicia, though, wakes up each morning with a day ahead that is just not quite what she had hoped it could be. She can’t do many of the things that we can do on a whim, like head out in the car, visit a family member or a friend, go shopping or just do something spontaneous by herself. That is the type of soul that she has inside that body with it’s limitations…one that called to live life to the full.
There have been a variety of obstacles along the way that have contributed to diverting from the road to conquer new goals. Ones which would have helped her to move forward toward a life filled with more of her dreams being met rather than not. They are all water under the bridge at this point. A bridge that she poises herself beside, longing to jump into the water and take the ride of her live.
Alicia has patience about her that I have never seen before; you can see and feel a special kind of acceptance when you are with Alicia. Some of it might be quiet resignation, keeping her feelings close to her heart rather than on her sleeve is also part of her charm.
At times I see a rekindling of hopefulness in Alicia; call it determination, maybe even defiance. It comes in waves, and we are currently riding a big one. This past year Alicia verbalized her dream to walk again and she has been working on doing just that slowly but consistently.
This past weekend we tried something that we hadn’t in a while. Alicia has two walkers, one is a heavy duty one and there isn’t much you can do to lose balance with that one. This is the one we aim at when ‘safety first’ is the feel of the day. But for those days when living on the edge is where we want to be, we take out the garden variety ‘old people walker’, one that offers nothing but a bit of support as you move yourself along. If you are going down, this one has little to offer as far as stability. ( She’s accumulated 14 stitches to the head and a few Cat Scans using this one)
Anyway, Alicia has been walking with the ‘old people’ walker again within the last week. I have also noticed a bit more equilibrium and solid stance lately when we have been walking short distances with her arm over my shoulder. She seconded this new feeling of stability.
So we tried it, and …. guess what?!
Yeah, she did it! Alicia has been walking with more focus to detail with each step and it’s working. She has just taken a giant step toward her goal of walking again.
I think she’s got this!!